My Life Without God

The Madalyn Murray O’Hair Murder

Watch William J Murray discuss this on Gov. Mike Huckabee’s TV Show in June, 2012 … See clip here!

(Statement of William J. Murray first released in 1999)

My mother, brother and daughter were murdered by fellow atheists.

There is no getting around the evidence. For almost three years the national atheist organization my mother once led has claimed she left the country with a large amount of money. This was false and I will tell you in this letter why they told this lie over and over again.

First, I want to talk to you about spiritual matters that the general media does not understand.

My mother was not just Madalyn Murray O’Hair, the atheist leader. She was an evil person who led many to hell. That is hard for me to say about my own mother but it is true.

My Life Without God

In this autobiographical work William Murray exposes the bizarre dysfunctional family life that led to the removal of prayer and Bible reading from America’s schools including his mother’s attempted defection to the Soviet Union in 1960.

When I was a young boy of ten or eleven years old she would come home and brag about spending the day in X-rated movie theaters in downtown Baltimore. She was proud of the fact she was the only woman in the movie house watching this filth. My mother’s whole life circulated around such things. She even wrote articles for Larry Flynt’s pornographic magazine, Hustler. My mother lived in spiritual death as Paul writes: “But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.” I Timothy 5:6

My mother delighted in hiring unrepentant criminals to work in her atheist office. She particularly enjoyed hiring convicted murderers who had served their time but were unrepentant about what they had done. She got a sense of power out of having men in her employ who had taken human life. It was love of power over people that finally caused not only her death, but the deaths of my brother and my daughter.

My mother had complete power over my brother, Jon, and my daughter, Robin. Although I was able to break away from the evil of this family, an evil that had been there for generations, they could not. My mother did not permit either my brother or my daughter to speak to me. She had total control of them.

My brother would have been forty years old the month he was murdered. He lived with my mother. He had breakfast with my mother. He went to work with my mother. He had lunch with my mother. He had dinner with my mother. He went on vacation with my mother. He never married. He never really even had the opportunity to have a serious relationship with a woman because Of the control my mother possessed over him. My mother had the same control over my daughter. She was just thirty the year she was murdered. She also lived with my mother. My mother used food to control her and make her unattractive to men. By the time she was murdered she was so heavy she had to purchase two airline tickets because she could not fit in one seat.

For twenty years I could not talk to my brother. He would hang up the phone on me or tear up my letters and send them back. The same was true of my daughter. They both called me “TRAITOR” because I had accepted Christ and changed my life. By “traitor” they meant that I no longer followed the absolute direction of my mother as they did.

Find out what William J. Murray is doing now: Click Here

The house they lived in had statuettes of mating animals on virtually every piece of furniture. There was a full cabinet of booze and a refrigerator full of foods high in fat and sugar. They liked to live a life which my mother called “high off the hog”.

I must admit that toward the end I had lost hope for my mother’s conversion. The last ten years of her life she became even more profane and vulgar as the demons she courted got their final hold on her. The media stopped courting her because of the number of profane words she would use which they had to edit out.

My hopes and my prayers remained for my brother and my daughter. I honestly believed that nature would take its course and that my mother would die naturally, leaving them behind. In my heart I believed that without her constant evil influence they would start to move toward the light of God. I had even written letters to Jon and Robin that I had planned on sending them when my mother died. Those letters will never be mailed, nor will they be read, because they died with her.

My mother was an evil person … Not for removing prayer from America’s schools … No … She was just evil. She stole huge amounts of money. She misused the trust of people. She cheated children out of their parents’ inheritance. She cheated on her taxes and even stole from her own organizations. She once printed up phony stock certificates on her own printing press to try to take over another atheist publishing company. I could go on but I won’t. All the money my mother made in this manner stayed behind. It did not go with her. “For we brought nothing into this world and it is certain we can carry nothing out.” I Timothy 6:7

My mother simply believed, “Do what thou wilt shall be the only law.”

Regardless of how evil and lawless my mother was she did not deserve to die in the manner she did.

Yes, I understand that the circumstances were of her own making. She hired convicted murderers to work for her. She put one of those murders in charge of her office and he stole more than $54,000 from her. That same murderer is now suspected of killing her and Jon and Robin. He is also suspected of murdering and decapitating one of the men he recruited to kidnap my family.

Still, she was 77 years old when she was kidnapped. She and my daughter were held for almost 30 days, probably tied and gagged, while my brother desperately tried to obtain ransom money. At all times my brother was escorted by one of the kidnappers. Should he have run? Should he have tried to get help? I would have.

But, my brother was a total slave to my mother. He saw himself as her provider and rescuer. All his life she had talked down to him and made fun of him and now, in his mind, he would show her his worth by single-handedly rescuing her. He was murdered for his faithfulness.

Both my brother and daughter believed in my mother’s “importance” because she declared it constantly. Many times a day my mother would declare, “I am Madalyn Murray O’Hair.” She honestly believed she had singled handedly removed prayer from school. She honestly believed she had “liberated” America sexually.

In reality my mother did not create the times, the times created her. She was what America was about in the sixties and seventies. There were several cases going to the Supreme Court to remove prayer. Her case just got there first. The left-wing Court of the day wanted prayer out of the schools and to allow abortion on demand. They virtually were advertising for cases to change America. But my mother saw the secular and sexual turn in America as centered around her.

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I can see her now looking down the barrel of a gun and saying, “You don’t dare shoot me, I AM MADALYN MURRAY O’HAIR.” Of course, the killers did not care who she was just as most Americans didn’t care. To the majority of Americans and to the media she was just another celebrity fruit cake, sort of the Hulk Hogan of atheism.

The media asked me if I would hold a funeral and if so would there he prayer. My answer was simple but Biblical and sort of surprised them I am sure. I said, “They are already either in heaven of hell, praying over them now will not make a difference.”

I made that statement knowing the torture they must have gone through the last thirty days of their lives. Did Robin pray to receive Christ as she was bound and gagged? Perhaps. Did my mother or brother cry out to the Lord just before they were murdered? I don’t know.

Christ is there for the vilest offender. The serial killer whose prayer at the hour of his death is genuine is also forgiven. My mother, my brother and my daughter may well await me in heaven. On the other hand, they may have stood their ground defying God to the end, in which case they are now spending yet another day of eternity in hell. If that is the case I will never see them again.

The deaths of my mother, brother and daughter should make all too clear the need for Christ to others that proclaim atheism. But those who would follow my mother continue to fight against God and His authority. “Fools make a mock at sin… ” Prov. 14:8

During Easter, what is left of my mother’s American Atheist organization held a convention in New Jersey. My ministry placed an advertisement in the newspaper there to tell them about Jesus. The new atheist leader, Ellen Johnson, ranted and raved against me, against Christ and against the Holy Spirit.

Johnson told the media that the whole idea of my mother being murdered was a fabrication. She told the newspapers that I had “manufactured” the story using my connections to Congress to trick the FBI into getting involved. Why does this woman protest so much? Why does she not even shed a tear for her departed leader?

The FBI is involved because one of the individuals has confessed. How many others he will point his finger at I don’t know. But I do understand the “wisdom” of Ellen Johnson. Her “wisdom” is found in Psalm 14:1 “The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.”

Please continue to pray for this ministry and for my family. This is a difficult time. The news media calls day and night about my mother. The FBI even offered to provide a counselor for my wife Nancy and me. I said no thank you, I told the agent my family already has a counselor – the Great Counselor, Jesus Christ.

(This statement was written by William Murray in May of 1999. The dismembered bodies of Madalyn Murray O’Hair, Jon Murray and Robin Murray were found in January of 2000 near Camp Wood, Texas. One of the killers, David Waters, led the authorities to the site in return for a guarantee he would serve his time in a Federal rather than in a Texas state prison. He died in prison of liver disease in 2003.  A second killer was sentenced to life in prison.)

10 replies
  1. Stefan Hearst
    Stefan Hearst says:

    During a visit with a friend of mine who knew about Madalyn Murray O’Hair, we both went to her office and met her there. He was helping me write up my resume for the upcoming summer and told Madalyn a little bit about me which he thought was amazing and gave her my resume in case she wanted to hire me. We left the office and about a week later, she called me before school was out to ask me if I wanted to work as a Media Coordinator at her office and I said I would like to. I did not know much about her or the organisation and thought this would be a good work experience and learning opportunity. I would have to find a place to live but then she said that, from what she knew about me, I would be welcomed to live at their home and I would be safe from the criminal element in Austin, Texas.

    I do not know why people would be over-protective of my well-being but Robin told me that her mom “did her research on me” but I am not sure what she was referring to. Every now and then, Robin would give me some item she no longer wanted such as a book of jokes that I found very funny even as an adult. The book was a gift to Robin by her Seventh Grade Graduation class.

    I lived with Madalyn Murray O’Hair and Jon Garth Murray and Robin Elaine Murray O’Hair at 3702 Greystone Drive in Austin, Texas for the summer while being employed as their Media Coordinator at the American Atheist General Headquarters on Cameron Road in Austin, Texas.

    Everything that William J. Murray says about his mother, brother and daughter is very insightful and true. I recall that Madalyn would always have this facade of toughness in public as she criticised and mocked any religious leader. As we all headed home, Jon would turn on the TV and Robin and I were watching an episode of Star Trek which had a theological theme involved. Madalyn would ask Robin to help her with the preparation of some homemade Mexican food. At home, Madalyn became a very typical loving mother but still had a strong control over Jon and Robin. Over time, I began to see how she, Madalyn, was fearful of losing Jon or Robin to the outside world. One summer day, Madalyn made a comment to Jon and Robin about an upcoming date next month on September 21, 1987 but I was not sure what she was referring to since I did not know what the date meant. It appeared she was sad about that date but Jon told her to try not to let it bother her.

    Madalyn thought I was amusing because of my Jewish background and the fact that I grew up in an orphanage (now called childrens home). I never did any kind of drugs including alcohol or tobacco and was always very trustworthy and faithful. I was secretly afraid of some of the men and women who worked at the American Athiest Center because of the language they used which appeared to have anti-governmental violence or anti-establishmentarian qualities. Perhaps I was too logical and literal in my perception, or naive as some good friends would tell me, and I would not be able to formulate any opinion since I could not read people’s intentions at that time.

    In public, Jon Murray had a very imposing voice along with a very large physical presence that could be intimidating to people who did not know him. He was nice and down-to-earth with me perhaps because, as I have been told, I have a nonthreatening demeanor to men and women.

    Since I was Media Coordinator, I would receive mail correspondence from various cable networks around the U.S. and Canada and Robin would bring me the mail and jestingly tell me “Here’s your mail Stefan Christian Hearst.” She would stretch out my middle name Christian to rub it in. I had to explain to Robin that when I graduated from high school and left the children’s home, I officially changed my last name from Hirsch to Hearst and added Christian as my middle name because, as a child, I loved reading about the adventures of the main character Christian in the story of Pilgrim’s Progress, a book of soliloques by John Bunyan. Robin did not seem to care about my peculiarities which were basically a fear of people who drank alcohol or beer or drugs or were intoxicated with such drugs. I never entered a bar or club because I had a fear of smoke exiting the mouth and nose and I would leave a restaurant if there was the scent of smoke. This may be attibuted to my incessant need to jog six miles a day when possible since I was in middle school and I thrived on clean fresh country air and water.

    It is amazing how I have known and lived with Madalyn, Jon and Robin for the summer and they have been murdered by these criminals who worked for them. I read that they were murdered horrifically and buried in Camp Wood, Texas. Ironically, I lived at a children’s home not far from Camp Wood in the Texas Hill Country and I even knew the land and property they were located at which belonged to Don Friend. I went to high school with his daughter and I would go long distance jogging around the area. I would also tell the other kids that I would be jogging with my deer friends. They thought I meant dear friends but later found out that the deer (whitle spotted axis deer or white-tailed deer) would follow me by trotting along to find out why I was always jogging on the same path. Since I never strayed from my path, the deer became friendly and were not threatened.

    The former Governor Dolph Briscoe had his ranch in the vicinity as well as the Texas A&M Research Institute for Animal Husbandry whatever that meant at the time. For some reason, Robin wanted to hear me tell her stories about what I did and why I chose to do what I did.

    I eventually had to resign in order to continue with my college education back at the University of North Texas in Denton, Texas.

    I wish that Madalyn would have been open and accepting of her first born son William J. Murray’s decision to follow his heart and his conviction and to know that William “Bill” would never have foresaken her just because she was an atheist. It would hurt her son but in due time, it appears that William J. Murray would have had the integrity and understanding to allow his mother to be who she was and faithfully knowing that she would be influenced by him. She was essentially isolating and insulating herself from other people and did not have someone in her life who was her equal and who can be her sounding board and challenge her and question her motives, fears, insecurities, and longings. One of her greatest longings, I suspect, has been to see and know her first born son and to understand how his religious transformation has made him what he is today.

    I can go on forever with stories but better close for now.

    Hope this smail bit of information may add some insight into Madalyn Murray O’Hair’s unique life.

    Stefan Christian Hearst (aka Stefan Hirsch or Chaston)

  2. Laura
    Laura says:

    I am a Christian (62yrsold) and was around 12 when I heard about the woman who was trying to get prayer out of schools. I was not raised in a christian home but even the it felt like something was wrong. I had a hard time reading it because I hated her for the way she was and the way she treated her kids. “whatsoever things are pure and lovely…think of these things” But I knew it had a happy ending because Wm. Murray survived and became a chrisitan and I am so happy he has a ministry that is turning the tide of what she started. I am sorry for the loss of his family andI do hope that they all came to know the love of Jesus when they knew the ywere going to die. Someday we will know. God Bless you William Murray. sincerely Laura

  3. Dan
    Dan says:

    It was thrilling and sad to read this story of an evil woman and a son who somehow found the Lord – very very inspiring – God bless your minsitry

  4. Sharon Kline
    Sharon Kline says:

    First I just want to say Praise God for saving you William Murray! I just read your story after researching your mother, as she was referenced in a book we are going through in our ladies study at the church. I am so sorry for the horror your family faced in their last hours and for all you have gone through. I do hope and pray that as they had hours and even days to consider their fate that they cried out to God to save them. I always keep that hope as we never know, and God is able to save to the uttermost those who come to him for salvation, even at their last moments. Thank you to Stefan also for your story. May God bless your ministry and your family abundantly.

    Standing with you in the gospel of grace,
    through Christ alone,
    to the glory of God alone,
    Sharon Kline

    • Joy Ledig
      Joy Ledig says:

      Well said Sharon. I appreciate yours and Stefan’s comments. I do hope the family did make decisions for Christ there at their terrible ending.
      Also, thank you Bill for your ministry.

    • Terry Tesar
      Terry Tesar says:

      This was a captivating story, and the incredible insight to what made William Murray’s mother tick.
      The word narcissist Is thrown around easily nowadays, but to truly understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can be very enlightening. Most people have had a true Narcissist in their life, and the study of the subject IS rewarding, freeing and empowering.
      I bring this up because Madelyne Murray O’hair was definitely a high level narcissist.

  5. R.W. Hargraves
    R.W. Hargraves says:

    I am 86 year old man. I have been a christian for 70 years.. God has saved me from tobacco. and a host of other vises.. William, I know by tour statement , that you want to think that your brother ,mother and daughter might have in their last moment s accepted Christ and was saved, but the scriptures tell us that Gods spirit shall not always strive with man.and that one is to seek God while He may be found. May God bless you even more than He already has. R.W. Hargraves

  6. Heidi
    Heidi says:

    I don’t think she was pure evil, but she seemed to have narcissistic personality disorder. She was probably traumatized early in life, so I think some psychological understanding helps as well.


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